The Chore Schedule of a Working Wife

Okay, I promise cleaning the stove is not one of Nenya's regular chores. However, this photo is a pretty good illustration of what kind of a homemaker I am. I don't always clean the stove after I cook. In fact, sometimes the stove gets so bad that I jokingly tell Nathan we should just put Nenya on the counter and have her lick it off. And one time he actually did (but not for long, and he was right next to the counter the whole time).

Occasionally I'll come across another woman's chore schedule, and invariably it involves much more cleaning than mine. Cleaning the bathroom sink every day? I could never do that. And vacuuming every day too? I don't even vacuum; Nathan does. Everyone's situation is different, and there's no need to compare. But if you would like to see an example of a chore schedule of a newly married wife who is gone at least 10 hours out of every weekday, here is my list. I've changed things around since I first developed it.

Sunday
 • Laundry

Monday
 • Clean inside of microwave
 • Clear off desk
 • Water plants

Tuesday
 • Clean bathroom sink
 • Hand wash delicates
 • Clean bathroom mirror

Wednesday
 • Clean bathtub
 • Dust bedrooms

Thursday
 • Clean toilet
 • Sweep and mop (entry way, bathroom, kitchen)

Friday
 • Plan menu
 • Dust living area

Saturday
 • Grocery shopping
 • Food prep
 • Brush Nenya

Nathan's (Usually) Weekly Chores
• Vacuum
• Take out trash
• Clear off desk

This is what works for us right now. I don't always keep with it perfectly, but I usually manage to get almost everything done on a weekly basis at least. My most often neglected chore is sweeping and mopping the floors, even though I have just 3 tiny sections of floor that need swept. There aren't any chores that get done on a daily basis. As I've written about before, although I take care of most of the chores right now since Nathan is busy finishing up his MBA as well as working on computer certifications, I'm blessed with a husband who does not consider any chore "woman's work" and who would be willing to take on more chores if he ever becomes the one with more free time. Sometimes he helps me haul the laundry and get it started, which rocks my socks off.

Do you use a chore schedule? What is your least favorite chore?

Being a Good Wife

Three words I love to hear while cooking dinner are "Something smells good!" Last night, what I heard was "Something smells funky!" Needless to say, it wasn't the best meal I'd ever cooked. And after spending the weekend out of town and having a date night on Monday, I was also way behind on my cleaning.

I wasn't feeling like a very good wife.

I looked at all of the empty boxes on my check list, trying to decide where to begin, before finally sitting down next to Nathan on the love seat to read a magazine while he studied. Although sometimes I feel like a failure if I relax, I realized relaxing with my husband would be just the opposite.

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." - Genesis 2:18

A help meet...an assistant...someone to help with all the work that needed to be done in that garden...that's how I've always thought about this passage. But I think it's important to remember the first part of this verse: It is not good that the man should be alone. I don't know about Adam, but I know that Nathan cares a lot more about the time I spend talking to him and just being with him than the time I spend doing chores. He just wants a companion, someone to keep him from being alone.

Early in our relationship, Nathan and I read The 5 Love Needs of Men and Women by Gary and Barbara Rosberg. According to their research, companionship is a man's third biggest need from his wife, right behind unconditional love and sexual intimacy. Nathan ranked it fifth among the list of twenty options, and he put domestic help as #19!

Maybe the "perfect wife" is an expert chef who has a spotless home, but I need to quit trying to be her and just be Nathan's wife.

Why I Clean the Bathtub

As I strive to keep our apartment clean, I have to remind myself at times why I do certain chores. Am I doing it because it's necessary for our well-being? Am I doing it to because I think it will make Nathan happy? In the case of some chores, I am really only doing them for my benefit. The main example of this is cleaning the bathtub. As I was scrubbing the tub tonight, I told Nathan,

"I never feel like this bathtub is truly clean. That's the bad thing about old apartments like this."

"That's funny," he said, "I never feel like it's truly dirty.

A simple fact I never fully realized until recently is that no one will be able to appreciate our clean bathtub except for me. You see, while I have perfect vision, Nathan can't see much of anything without his glasses. I might worry about a single hair or spot of soap on the floor of the tub, but Nathan wouldn't even know there was a floor if he weren't standing on it. While it's possible that we will have a guest who can see in the shower, all of the guests that have used our shower so far wear glasses.

There are plenty of things I do solely for Nathan's benefit, like attempting to neatly fold his underwear just how he likes it, but the cleanliness of the bathtub doesn't really matter that much to him. I clean it because it matters to me. I like to shower in a clean bathtub, and I want our guests to be able to shower in a clean bathtub, whether or not they can actually tell the difference.