Have you had any morning sickness?
I don't feel like I can answer "yes" to this question since I haven't experienced any vomiting, although there have definitely been times when I felt weak, achy, and nauseated like I had the flu, just without the vomiting. The first trimester definitely wasn't a walk in the park. I'm doing better now for the most part, except for frequent headaches. I'm not quite as tired, but I'm still sleeping more than I was before I was pregnant.
Are you going to find out the gender?
Probably? Before I got pregnant, we were pretty adamant about waiting until birth to find out the gender. It turns out you can change your mind about things when the baby is actually inside you. Plus, it'll make it easier for people who want to buy clothes.
Do you have names picked out?
We have some ideas, but we haven't shared them with anyone. Nathan's approved the girl's name I've had picked out since high school but we aren't sure on the middle name. We've had a horrible time choosing a boy's name. I think we're pretty sure on that one now though. This is part of why knowing the gender would be helpful - it's hard enough figuring out one name!
What's your theme going to be?
I love Rachel Jonat's answer to this in The Minimalist Mom's Guide to Baby's First Year
: "Uh...Craigslist?" I want to try to stick with a color scheme of reds
and teals for the baby gear, but if it's cheap or free, I'm not going
to be that picky. Since we aren't going to have a real nursery, there's
no need to go crazy with a theme.
Are you going to quit your job?
I'm not planning on it, at least for now. At the moment, I'm the one with the stable job with health insurance and benefits. I know some claim if you look at the true "cost of working" (childcare, clothes for work, lunches out, etc.) you aren't actually making anything as a working mom, but with my calculated worst case scenario, I'd still only be losing half my income. Of course, it's not all about money. If it turns out I can't bare to leave my baby, we'll reevaluate.
Who's your doctor?
I've chosen to see a midwife. Unless I develop complications, I'll only see a doctor once.
Wait, so you're going to have a natural birth?
That's the plan, but I know things don't always go as planned. Although I'm not against using pain medications, I feel natural birth is the best option in most cases. Plus, anyone who knows of my intense fear of needles being inserted into me can probably understand why I would view epidurals and intravenous pain killers as terrifying and a last resort. I really think I'll be more relaxed without them.Anything else you'd like to know? For those who are parents, did people ask you any unusual questions when you were expecting?
As a person who had a natural birth, and didn't plan on it, it's not as bad as you think. I think the best advice is to go in with an open mind. Through my whole pregnancy I was adamant about not being induced into labour. Well, 10 days past my due date, I got induced, and I would do it again in a second.
ReplyDeleteIn Canada, we are fortunate to get 1 year paid maternity leave, what's standard in America? Re: quit your job question....
I'm pretty sure 0 paid maternity time is standard here, although some companies might be more generous. They're required to give you leave for 12 weeks, but they don't have to pay you for it. The only pay I'll have while on maternity leave is short term disability pay, which is 60% pay starting with the 3rd week (meaning you have to use vacation time to be paid for the first two weeks) for a maximum of twelve weeks. I only have the short term disability insurance because I pay premiums for it. In other words, quitting my job would mean we would only have my husband's income.
DeleteWell, let me clarify, In Canada it's not our employer that pays us. We actually leave the company for a year, with a status of maternity. We have to be given our same pay-grade and seniority when we come back or get a pay out. We get paid through un-employement insurance, 60% of our income to a max of $1600 per month. The female has to take the first 16 weeks, it's illegal for an employer to let us come back before then, and then either parent can take the remainder of the leave.
DeleteUnemployment insurance isn't an option for maternity leave here. The government only ensures the mother 12 weeks unpaid leave. Companies with fewer than 50 employees are exempt from this requirement, and I'm sure some companies pressure mothers to come back sooner. It's certainly not illegal to take fewer than 12 weeks. Any benefits beyond 12 weeks unpaid would only come from the employer.
DeleteRe: "What's your theme going to be?" - I had no idea that there is usually a "theme" for a nursery. Guess I'm kind of behind the times as I thought you just bought a crib etc. and that was it. Baby themed :) I like your idea of colours though, and your attitude towards free/cheap stuff. Just curious - how come you're not going to have a real nursery? Is baby just going to sleep in your room?
ReplyDeleteWell, some people like to go with bedding and everything in a particular theme like a Winnie the Pooh nursery, Mickey Mouse, jungle, whatever. It's just not for me. I wouldn't say you're behind the times since I think the trend is kind of moving away from that.
DeleteOur issue with having a nursery is space. The house we're renting is 1,000 sq. ft., so it's not a lack of space, just oddly distributed space. We have a fairly large living room and master bedroom, but the second bedroom is only 8' x 8'. The second bedroom is currently my husband's office/man cave, and I really don't want all that stuff out in the living room! So, we're going to start out with the baby sleeping in our room, but we might end up with baby stuff in the other bedroom or even in the living room. We just aren't going to have a room that's exclusively the baby's.