July 12, 2011

Rethinking Gift Giving


When I received flowers at work last month, several people asked me if it was my anniversary. It wasn't; my anniversary wasn't for another week and a half. And no, Nathan hadn't sent them early worrying that he would forget our anniversary either. It was just his way of thanking me for my patience during a not so fun time.

On our actual anniversary, we didn't exchange gifts at all, unless you count the balloons and cake I bought for Nathan's graduation party. We didn't give each other gifts on Valentine's Day either. Is it because we don't care about each other? No. We just don't give gifts based solely on the calendar.

Early in our marriage, I came home to find a wrapped gift on the bed. I had no idea what it was or why Nathan had gotten it for me. It turned out to be a new hair dryer. I was having issues with my old one, so he just went out and bought a new one, and a nice one at that! Although I don't do as much random gift giving, as an incentive for Nathan to focus on his classes, I bought him a season of J.A.G. on DVD for each "A" he earned.

Gifts and special occasions don't have to go hand in hand, as long as you and your spouse are on the same page. If your spouse's love language is receiving gifts, they may feel differently. Dr. Gary Chapman says that "a missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous" for one of these people. But Nathan and I both rank receiving gifts as our least significant love language. Gifts are nice, but we don't need them to feel loved or to make our holiday feel complete. And they're a lot more fun when they're unexpected.

 What's your take on gift giving?

1 comment:

  1. I love this way of thinking! Tyler and I also had gift giving as our lowest ranked love language. We usually do exchange gifts for big holidays(Christmas and Birthdays), but for Valentine's Day and anniversaries we give cards and do something together instead of spending money on gifts.


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