What's the point?

The average wedding in America costs $20,000. What really scares me about this is that I know there are people like us with much smaller budgets, so there have to be people on the other end of the spectrum spending much more in order to balance out that average.

(Check out this infographic for more statistics)

You may have realized this by now, but an extravagant wedding just isn't for me. Even if I had $20,000 to spend, I can't imagine spending it all on one day. Rebecca Adams, director of the Family and Child Program at Ball State University, says, "People may spend $20,000 to $30,000 planning a wedding, but they will bark or resist premarital counseling or something that might make their marriage last." (Source)


Why?


What's the point of investing all of this money towards the ceremony and reception when you don't invest any time towards creating a strong foundation for your marriage? Nathan and I will have at least 5 sessions of premarital counseling before our wedding. I'm not saying that any couple that doesn't go through premarital counseling is doomed to divorce, but I can't imagine going into a marriage without at least having some serious discussions with each other about every aspect of your future together.


No matter her the budget is, I think any bride can get caught up in the planning process and forget the true purpose of the wedding, so I've really tried my best not to do that. Sometimes I feel like wedding planning is my only hobby these days. I enjoy it, but I enjoy spending time with Nathan even more. I try my best to focus the majority of my time on building a stronger relationship with him and becoming a good wife. 


Our guests probably won't think that our wedding is the fanciest that they've ever attended, but hopefully they'll appreciate all the work that we've put into it. And more than anything, I want them to see that we're committed to each other and to putting in the work it takes to have a healthy marriage.

The fancy dress, the decorations, the food - as much as I'm looking forward to it, all I want is to be able to spend every day with the man I love. (And his dog too.)

Fingertips and shoulders, knees and elbows

After looking at the options on veil lengths, I decided that an elbow length veil would work best for me. I told Nathan this once over dinner and he stared blankly for a moment as he realized I didn't mean that the veil would be the length of my elbow.

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I knew I didn't want a long veil, but I also wanted one that would be longer than my hair. Even with my hair curled, it should fall well below my shoulders, so shoulder-length just wouldn't work. The length part was easy to figure out, but the style of the edging took a little more consideration.

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A cut edge is just a little too plain for me, so that was out.

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I like the look of lace, but I decided it would be too distracting.

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The ribbon edge looks really nice, but it was still more edging than I wanted.

My perfect veil?

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The unfortunately named rattail edge. The thin cord around the edge emphasizes the contour of the veil without demanding too much attention. However, I wanted one with only one layer of tulle so it would be even less of a focus.

Once I had chosen how I wanted my veil to look, I just had to find one within my budget: $15. No, there isn't supposed to be a zero after that. The veil I tried on at David's Bridal was $189, but I just could not justify spending that much for a piece of tulle. I knew this budget would be possible because Michael's sells kits to make a veil at that price. Granted, you have to sew the comb to the veil, but even an incompetent seamstress (like myself) could probably find someone (like my future mother-in-law) who would be willing to handle that job for free.

But instead of going the DIY route, I decided to try the eBay route first and ended up buying a veil from a seller with excellent feedback for $13.95 including shipping. 

I'll have to see if I made the right decision when it arrives. Meanwhile, I have an extra dollar to allocate to another section of the budget. 

Piecing the Centerpieces: Take 2

When we left off, my centerpieces looked like this:

 

I've looked into all kinds of other options, but I knew I really wanted to get my hands on a berry garland. Michael's and Jo-Ann's didn't have any in the right color, but on a trip to Hobby Lobby tonight I found this:

Not only was it just what I needed, but it was 50% off! Major win! I also got some silk flower petals that were 50% off, along with floating candles for 80% off.

I cut off a small section and put it into the vase in a spiral along the outside edge. Then I took another sections and spiraled it in the opposite direction. After filling the vase with water and placing a candle on top, I had this:

 

  

What do you think? Is this an improvement? I personally love my new version, but I think I'll use a slightly longer section of garland next time to fill up a little more space. I've now spent around $27 experimenting on my centerpieces, but the good news is, I probably won't have to spend much more since I'm borrowing the vases. I'm pretty excited to see how it looks when it's all put together.

The Evolution of Our Colors

As you may remember, I originally was set on a particular dark red color for my bridesmaid dresses as well as other elements of the wedding. In a perfect world, the dresses would look like my colorized version of this Ann Taylor dress:

 

In the real world, finding a dress in the right color as well as in a style that will flatter all three of my bridesmaids (who have about a 10 inch range in height) just wasn't that easy. 

 

Here is a comparison of my invitation (which is in my ideal color) along with two swatches: David's Bridal's Apple on the left and Aria's Bordeaux on the right. The Bordeaux was a pretty good match, but since Aria only has showrooms in Washington DC, Boston or LA, it wasn't really feasible to order dresses from them. 

I did look at some other bridal salons in town to see if there were any other dresses out there in my perfect color. I found some that I liked, from Alfred Angelo and B2, but I was told dresses from those companies need to be ordered 3-4 months in advance. I told the sales associate, "Well, if it's going to take four months, that's not going to work." She said that "it usually doesn't take four months...it usually takes three...so this is really the perfect time for you to order them, but you'll want to order within the next week." 

I read some online reviews for this salon and found out that dresses have been known to come in much later than expected. I know I said before that you shouldn't base decisions on reviews, but in this case, I couldn't take the chance.

I finally decided to just go with a dress from David's Bridal in  Apple. My dress came in almost 2 months earlier than the date they gave me. Also, my bridesmaids can each save $20 since I bought my dress there.

 

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No, it's not the perfect color, but at the end of the day, who really cares other than me? And besides, colors will vary based on lighting and the other colors they're next to, etc., etc...and the dress itself is really pretty.

So, our colors are now various shades of red, along with black, white, and silver. How did silver come into the mix, you ask? Well, Nathan and I were discussing tuxes one night when he said,

"What color should I wear? We don't really have a secondary color."

We knew he was going to wear a black tux, but I wasn't really sure what color vest and tie he should wear. I decided silver would look nice.

 

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I'll also be incorporating silver into other aspects of the design, possibly including the tablecloths.

It helps to be flexible in the wedding planning process.

Ring Glamour Shots

Nathan and I did a photo shoot of my engagement ring over the weekend. Nathan took the photos and set up the lighting, and I chose the settings and did the editing.

 

  

  

  

  

 
 

  

  

  

I think we make a pretty good team.