Being a Good Wife

Three words I love to hear while cooking dinner are "Something smells good!" Last night, what I heard was "Something smells funky!" Needless to say, it wasn't the best meal I'd ever cooked. And after spending the weekend out of town and having a date night on Monday, I was also way behind on my cleaning.

I wasn't feeling like a very good wife.

I looked at all of the empty boxes on my check list, trying to decide where to begin, before finally sitting down next to Nathan on the love seat to read a magazine while he studied. Although sometimes I feel like a failure if I relax, I realized relaxing with my husband would be just the opposite.

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." - Genesis 2:18

A help meet...an assistant...someone to help with all the work that needed to be done in that garden...that's how I've always thought about this passage. But I think it's important to remember the first part of this verse: It is not good that the man should be alone. I don't know about Adam, but I know that Nathan cares a lot more about the time I spend talking to him and just being with him than the time I spend doing chores. He just wants a companion, someone to keep him from being alone.

Early in our relationship, Nathan and I read The 5 Love Needs of Men and Women by Gary and Barbara Rosberg. According to their research, companionship is a man's third biggest need from his wife, right behind unconditional love and sexual intimacy. Nathan ranked it fifth among the list of twenty options, and he put domestic help as #19!

Maybe the "perfect wife" is an expert chef who has a spotless home, but I need to quit trying to be her and just be Nathan's wife.